Euro-English

[Mike Fedyk <mfedyk@matchmail.com>]

The European Commission has just announced an
agreement whereby English will be the official
language of the European nation rather than German,
which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government
conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan
that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with
joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the
"k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan
have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with
the "f". This will make words like fotograf 20%
shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling
kan be expekted to reach the stage where more
komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double
letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate
speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the
silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should
go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from
vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil
hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil
find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united
urop vil finali kum tru.


If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas it on to oza pepl. 







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